Saturday, March 19, 2011

These Dark and Lonely Nights


Now, don't get me wrong. I am NOT at all complaining about my husband having a job. We are blessed with this opportunity for him to earn an income to support his family, and I am very thankful. However, these nights wreak havoc on my nerves. It's one of those things where every little sound makes me practically jump out of my skin, ya know? It's dark, it's quiet, not to mention I already have anxiety issues, and my husband, my guardian and protector, is not here. I have his gun, but I doubt my ability to use it. Not that I would hesitate shooting an intruder, but what if I couldn't get to it in time? I can't exactly carry his Glock 23 on my hip, I don't have a proper belt! Oh, I wish I had a BIG dog! I want to get one so badly. Especially now. :-/ Maybe a Great Pyrenees, a German Shepherd, or a Saint Bernard! I have always wanted a St. Bernard because after their puppy days, they are quite content and lazy animals, and my kids would love nothing more than a sweet neutered male to roll around on! LOVE their temperament. :-) We want a Great Pyrenees to raise with any livestock we might get to be the flock protector (when we have flocks), and German Shepherds aren't my first pick, but they are very protective and intimidating because everyone knows them as the Police Dogs. I have met some sweet German Shepherds in my lifetime, but they are a bit high strung for my liking, especially with small children.

God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble. Still, counting the hours and trying to convince myself to sleep. Not likely with my brain on overload, but worth the wistful thought anyway. Off to finish tackling this mountain of clean laundry and put some good ol' Gospel music on the PC to try to ease my mind and stop my ears from hearing every. little. noise.

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