"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
Hebrews 13:5
"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need."
Philippians 4:11-12
I'm sure that it's safe to say that we have all experienced, ya know, "those days" where everything that could go wrong, well, DID! Kids were more "kid-like" than normal (disrespectful, disobedient, you know the type), the house looks like a bomb went off or a train hit it one, and it seems like every time you are turning around you are either comforting a screaming little or scolding another for doing something that they know they shouldn't do. Dinner is burnt because you had to spend the last ten minutes refereeing a squabbling match over who had the toy first, the husband comes home having had a bad day at work and seems to be blissfully unaware of the chaos surrounding the days events for you (God bless him!), and at the end of it all, once you have finally succumbed to the lull of fast food for dinner (that you know you can't really afford anyway) and wrestled the last of the offspring into bed with orders to stay put "or else," you just want to collapse, curl up in a ball in a corner and cry, or both!
Do you know those days??
I know I sure do.
Having trod this road for only five years, through the births of five little ones, the loss of one at nine weeks gestation, and currently carrying our next joyous blessing now, I have learned a bit of truth concerning days like this. I know that I am by NO means a seasoned veteran (yet!), but perhaps I can offer what little bit I have that has come to comfort and help me.
Lower your expectations.
Seriously, in all compassionate i'm-crying-right-there-beside-you honesty, days only feel as bad as we make them out to be.
1 - Kids will be kids, meaning that inherent natural state of man WILL show it's ugly head MANY times before the age of 18, and often after that as well! We cannot expect them to be perfect. We can't even expect them to follow the rules all of the time without constantly being reminded and reprimanded. They are children. Do you remember being a child? I do. I did a lot of stupid stuff that I KNEW would get me into trouble. Why did I do it? Just 'cause. I felt like it. I dunno. I HAD no reasons, because I was a child lacking True conviction. Just like all children do. Just like all unregenerate, unsaved people do. Expect your children to be children, and don't be surprised when you have to get on their case a LOT (especially on those days when you really need them to behave, cause they have a knack for honing in on those days and being especially disruptive!) and be firm (cause they will walk on you if they sense you are a doormat, be a pillar!), calm (because YOU are the adult and their role model, refuse to stoop to the same level as your whiny, screaming, sobbing [in front of them] loud children!), and consistent (because nothing sends discipline attempts awry like inconsistency in what you discipline and how) with discipline. If you have to, do what I have done this week after an especially defiant week and take all the toys away and have them sit on blankets, not to move unless potty break or otherwise instructed, looking at picture books. Note you will have to be with them at all times to prevent them from getting up and running around, but once they know you mean business, they will stay put. Tomato staking at it's best. Regardless of if you believe in physical "trips to the woodshed" type discipline, the concept of tomato staking is for everyone with small children, especially those rough and tough independent minded I'm gonna do it MY way type kids..... I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE!! lol <3
2 - The house WILL get messy during the day, especially when we have multiple children and we have multiple things going on at once all throughout the day. I do tidying during the day, the kids (when they have toy privileges) take four or five breaks during the day to clean up their toys (or else they lose them, because toys and "stuff" are privileges, and we need to treat that privilege with respect and obey our parents [Ephesians 6:1, have them memorize that one] or lose it.... cause that's how I roll.....) Save the major cleaning for AFTER bedtimes, even though I KNOW that you just want to fall into bed (been there almost daily!! I feel ya!), but Trust me, you'll feel a lot better plodding through an extra hour or two at night to be able to wake up to a clean house, ready to do it all over again! And at the end of the day, the house is still a house, your children are vessels of immortal souls. Which do you really think God will judge you more for on Judgement Day?? I'll give you three guesses. :-)
3 - Get over the crunchy mommy guilt and accept that fast food is okay periodically, as long as you are informed of the place that you choose. Personally, it takes a lot of money (that we don't have) to eat out, so I usually keep a stock of dry beans, bouillon cubes, and chicken or beef stock just in case we have a burnout night. Might not be the tastiest dinner ever, but even picky kids will eat anything if they are truly hungry. They won't starve themselves, that's for sure. ;-) They will learn that we have what we have, and that's it. Take it or leave it. Personally, I think that is a life lesson that needs to be taught at a young age, and with consistency throughout life, because it breeds contentment.
4 - MOST importantly, LEARN to be content. Content in everything. Content in whatever situation you are in, because situations, most of the time, cannot be prevented, but the way you take it and handle it can be altered. Content with what you have, because always wanting what is just out of your reach for the present time will cause you to miss out on everything that you DO have within your grasp. What seems insignificant now is what will really matter in the future.
I will leave you with a quote from Mother Theresa. One of those print it out and put it on the fridge type quotes:
"There is always the danger that we may just do the work for the sake of the work. This is where the respect and the love and the devotion come in- that we do it to God, to Christ, and that's why we try to do it as beautifully as possible."
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31
Remember who your True Master is, and do everything for Him! Every time you wipe a runny nose, yes even the umpteen-millionth time, do it for God! Each time you correct your child, do so in boldness knowing that you are training up the next generation for Christ. Each dish is for the glory of God, even when the dish-washing machine is broken or even non-existent! Most of all, rest in contentment, knowing that circumstance are temporary, and we don't have to live under them, by God's grace alone we CAN rise above them and simply:
Do the best we can with what we have.
Without murmuring, without dispute, without complaint or ungratefulness, we can, by the power of the Spirit in us.
When you doubt your own abilities, turn and rest in God's ability through you, for we can do all things through Christ who strengthen us, right?
Of course it's right! It's in the Bible!
Be encouraged, be blessed, He will never leave us or forsake us, and the righteous who run to Him are safe.
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