Motherhood is Not Hard

Motherhood is not hard.

It's physically taxing, it's exhausting, it's demanding, but it's not complicated. It's not hard.

Learning to let go of expectations, now, that is hard. I mean think about it. Almost every source of frustration in and toward motherhood is because things don't go the way we think they should. Motherhood is simple. Our flesh complicates it. Society complicates it. Expectations of how things should be complicate it. 

Society and expectation says your child should be well behaved all the time, quiet in public, never rebellious, obedient at all times, compliant, and genius to boot. Your home should always be a model of a museum with a place for everything and everything in its place at all times.  So called "experts" say that your baby should crawl at 6 months, walk at 12 months, be speaking in sentences by 18 months, potty trained by 24 months, and if you have somehow failed at any of these points (as if anyone can force a child to use the toilet if they aren't ready...) then you are obviously a failure as a mom.

Society is wrong. It's time to lower our expectations. Go into each day expecting only the grace of God, and you will never be disappointed, because we serve a living God who is forever faithful to His promises. Children will make messes, they will rebel, and they will have ear-splitting tantrums in the middle of a crowded grocery store. Children develop at different paces, and that's okay! More children fall outside the median line on the percentile chart than within their perceived "normal," so that should tell you something about the true definition of normal.

The world complicates things,  but motherhood, the heart of motherhood, is oh so simple.

The Ground is Level at the Cross

 We know that man judges by outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart (1 Sam 16:7, John 7:24). So why are we so quick to trust our own judgment in reference to other people? 

It  IS  the Christian's job to judge by fruit those within the church, but it is Christ's job to judge those without (1 Cor 5), so why then do we chastise those without, while the pride of ourselves, those within the Church, runs unbridled and unchecked?

When a brother falls, we are to restore him to fellowship, in all meekness, and we are to bear each other's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal 6). The Law of Christ being not so great a mystery, and neither such a complicated one either... but that we should believe on the name of the Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. (1 John 3:21-23) No brother was ever restored with a whip and a broom handle, therefore pay heed to your slicing tongue. 

We, as ambassadors of Christ and instruments of Grace, are called to be many things in this temporal world. Among these things are light and salt. 

Light: The Lord is light, and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1). We ought to regard and foster no darkness in our own walk, for how can a light corrupted by darkness be a light at all? Bitter water and sweet cannot mingle, for in the instance that it does, even the sweet water is corrupted and becomes bitter itself (James 3). So ought we to have regard for our own struggles, temptations, and shortcomings, and keep them ever present before us, lest we fall into bitterness and temptation, corrupting the very Light that Christ has called us to bear.

Salt makes a man thirsty. We are called to live in a way as to whet the appetite of sinners and saints alike, and cause them to thirst after the living God. In speech, we are called to let our speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that we may know how we ought to answer every man. There are two parts to the way we are called to present ourselves in speech. Grace, and salt. Our speech should work to make others' thirsty for the Lord. In regards to Colossians 4:6, Matthew Henry so aptly puts it: "Let your discourse be as becomes Christians - savory, discreet, seasonable. Thought it be not always of grace, it must be always with grace. It must be in a Christian manner, seasoned with salt. Grace is the salt which seasons our discourse, makes it savory, and keeps it from corrupting." An accurate word spoken without grace is just as unprofitable to the Kingdom as a witness never spoken at all. Grace, the very heartbeat of the Gospel, ought to season our entire beings and cover us, just as the waters of baptism covered our bodies on the day of our public testimony. Every act, every word, and every thought ought to be seeped in Grace, saturated in Grace. THIS is our biggest testimony, as Christians. The grace in which we walk. Because, it is by grace alone that we are enabled to come to the level ground at the cross. How foolish is it of us to think that, as partakers of grace, we are somehow more pleasing to God. Our works are but filthy rags, but in Grace, UNMERITED FAVOR, Christ is glorified. Should we sin that grace may abound? God forbid. BUT, let us be cautioned, lest we think so highly of ourselves that we are comfortable and tempted to forsake grace for pride. This of which we are all inclined.

Here's the thing about Grace, about the unmerited favor of God:

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

Here's the thing about labels, and critical spirits, and the prideful manner that leads us to so harshly and roughly ostracize and scald those around us, both within and without the Church, but often times mostly those without:

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

There are but two labels in this world that really matter, when it comes down to the line: Lost, and Redeemed. 

Those of us who are Redeemed, let us be careful not to let the unmerited favor that has been so graciously bestowed upon us feed our ego, and let us daily remember where we came from. Every single one of us has past sins that would cripple us in humiliation if they were to be brought to light, so let us treat sinners with humility, care, and compassion. Let us treat those Lost, those without the Church, in a manner that glorifies God and exemplifies His abundant grace, even when they aren't around to hear us, lest the Word of God be blasphemed. Let us be careful not to elevate our filthy rags, those works that we take so much pride in, over the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. They say that Every Saint has a Past, and Every Sinner has a Future, and that rings more and more true as life goes on. God specializes in fixing broken things. He delights in using broken, marred, distorted, and charred vessels. He glories in the reshaping and remaking of dishonorable vessels, and fitting them unto honor. 

We ought to treat others' sins as we would desire for others to treat ours. Not giving excuse, but acting discreetly, and compassionately, and charitably. Charity is: "in a general sense, love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good." We know that we can speak with the power and truth of God, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and have faith enough to move mountains, and relinquish our worldly goods in their entirety to feed the poor, and even deliver ourselves up to be martyred, but if we have not charity, all of our works are meaningless, and it all amounts to nothingness. In 1 Peter 4 we are called to have fervent charity among ourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Charity, or that love and goodwill toward men, does not make excuse for sin, but it does cover them. It covers sins. It covers shortcomings and misgivings and ignorance. It does not write them on a sheet and run them up the flagpole to air, it covers them. 

The sinner is inclined to be of softer heart toward those who would humbly cover their sins, rather than toward those who would flagrantly and with gross disregard take a broom handle to their ignorant backs in front of the community of witnesses in order to feed their own pride and arrogance. Therefore, Charity glorifies God in ways that fire and brimstone cannot. Fire and Brimstone is God's job. He is the only righteous judge of those without the Church. Charity does not displace fire and brimstone, but even as God is longsuffering and is staying His hand of judgment ‘til the appointed time, so should we ought to stay our own hand and tongue. It is BECAUSE of fire and brimstone that we love so fervently. It is BECAUSE of fire and brimstone that we weep over the souls of the Lost. Brother, Sister, if you have failed to weep and pray for the lost and backslidden, then don't you dare raise your voice in judgment against them! Ever mindful of the power and the glory and the righteousness of God, we go forth in love and COVER sins. Brethren, we are called to Grace. Making no excuse for sin, but rather covering sin with charity as the precious Blood of Christ covers us even now. 

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." 1 Cor 13:4-7

Encouragement for the Invisible Woman

(Make sure to turn off the music in the bottom side-bar) 

"It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

 In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof. No one will ever see it'

And the workman replied,

'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself.

I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it there...'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers."

A Woman's High Calling Study ~ Coming Soon

I am embarking on a study of what it means to be a woman of God, and how to live it out. I will be using the book A Woman's High Calling: 10 Essentials for Godly Living by Elizabeth George as my study guide, and I invite you all to follow along. I have read this book time and time again and each time found great inspiration and encouragement to follow my high calling as God would have me do, so I am now putting my study in print for future reference, as well as perhaps inspiration and encouragement to any ladies like me who are seeking the same in their life. Namely, the will of God.

A quick note: the topics that will be covered in this study include our high calling to

1: Godliness
2: Godly Speech
3: Personal Discipline
4: Encouraging Others
5: Marriage + Loving our husband
6: Family + Loving our family
7: Wisdom
8: Purity
9: Home
10: Goodness

Postings will be on Mondays and Thursdays of each week beginning Monday, June 27th. Mondays will be the initial posting, and Thursdays will be the follow-up of each essential and how it can be applied to daily life.

I am sure that we have all prayed a prayer for god to help us be a godly woman. I know I have for sure, many times over. Author Elizabeth George states that while a worthy prayer, there is one problem: it is vague. She says "therefore over the years I have begun not only to pray to be a godly woman but also to ask, 'What does a godly woman do? How does she act? What is it about her that marks her out as a godly woman?' "

With those questions to direct us, we will be setting out to discover our high calling in Christ and find out what it means to be a godly woman. This study is about what the author calls the 'pink passages' of the Bible, or those that apply directly to us as women of God.

As Mrs. George states in her forward, I will echo it to myself and to my readers who are up for the task of coming along on this journey:

"So, do you want to grow in knowledge and grace? Do you want to learn more about being 'a godly woman'? Do you want to develop a good set of worthwhile lifetime goals? Do you want to move toward fulfilling a life-long dream of becoming God's kind of woman?"

Then let us do so in all eagerness, honesty, humility, and with all that we have. This is my heart's prayer.