The Bond That Can't Be Broken: A Mother's Heart

"If breastfeeding does foster the development of the maternal bond, what possible processes may mediate this relationship? The physiological processes that are theorized to account for bonding might operate during breastfeeding in that the nipple stimulation the infant provides when sucking triggers an oxytocin surge in the mother. This is a component of the milk letdown reflex, which results in the expression of breast milk. In humans, peripheral oxytocin secretion is usually associated with increased parasympathetic activation (e.g., increased vagal nerve tone and decreased blood pressure and heart rate; UvnasMoberg, 1997). Moreover, the central administration of oxytocin in rats, prairie voles, monkeys, and sheep appears to have anxiolytic and sedative effects (for a review, see Taylor et al., 2000). If maternal oxytocin increases parasympathetic activity and decreases anxiety, enhanced bonding may result. Further, if a mother feels a stronger bond to her infant, she may become a more responsive and sensitive caregiver and a higher quality mother-infant relationship may ensue."

"Many mothers who choose to breastfeed report a sense of psychological satisfaction which may indicate that it could have emotional benefits to both mother and child. This belief that one is doing something that one alone is able to do for the child may also result in strengthening the maternal bond."

"A study published on July 18, 2008 at the Public Library of Science Computational Biology found that breastfeeding mobilizes more than the usual brain cells that secrete oxytocin. Breastfeeding puts dendrites to work as well to secrete oxytocin.

Oxytocin, which is also secreted during labor and sexual intercourse, is also known as the "love hormone". It increases feelings of trust, relaxation and love. It has a sedative effect. No wonder many women report feeling drowsy while breastfeeding. Breastfeeding also fosters closeness between mother and child in other ways. It enables Mommy and baby to have more physical and skin-to-skin contact. Mothers and babies gaze into each other's eyes for extended periods of time while breastfeeding. Mothers also tend to interact in other ways with their babies when breastfeeding."

"Scientists have discovered the secret behind how breastfeeding helps mothers bond with their babies.

Childcare experts have long known that the closeness and intimacy of breastfeeding strengthens maternal affection.

But a study out today has discovered that the action of a baby suckling actually changes how the mother's brain behaves.

This results in a massive rush of the 'love hormone' oxytocin in women's brains.

The release of the chemical in massive surges enhances a mother's feelings of trust, love and affection, scientists say.

Oxytocin, also known as the trust or cuddle hormone, is produced naturally in the hypothalamus - a part of the brain the size of an almond that controls body temperature, thirst, hunger, anger and tiredness.

The hormone is involved in sex and sexual attraction, promotes feeling of trust and confidence and helps to reduce fear.

It is released into the blood during labour - triggering the production of breast milk - and floods the brain during breastfeeding.

But until now it was not known how the few thousand brain cells capable of releasing oxytocin could generate enough to alter a mother's mood.

Today's study, published in the journal Public Library of Science Computational Biology, offers an answer.

Normally brain cells, or neurons, release chemicals such as oxytocin in relatively small amounts from their nerve endings.

But the research team, led by Warwick University scientists, has shown using computer models that when a baby suckles, the mother's neurons respond by churning out the hormone from their dendrites - the part of the cell that usually receives, rather than transmits information.

This extra release of oxytocin creates much stronger links between nerve cells - creating a 'positive-feedback' loop, where the greater the concentration of the chemical, the faster it is produced.

This allows massive, intense, bursts of the love hormone to sweep through the brain at intervals of around five minutes. The findings could shed light on other chemical changes in the brain linked to mood.

Professor Jianfeng Feng, who demonstrated the effect, said: 'We knew that these pulses arise because, during suckling, oxytocin neurons fire together in dramatic synchronised bursts.

'But exactly how these bursts arise has been a major problem that has until now eluded explanation.

'This research has allowed us to incorporate all the latest research in a large computational model of the whole population of oxytocin cells.

'In this model we have shown that the dendritic interactions are enhanced enough to trigger a massive positive-feedback on activity.

'The model gives us a possible explanation of an important event in the brain that could be used to study and explain many other similar brain activities.'"

A Tidbit on Breastfeeding and Maternal Bonding:

For those of you, dear readers, who do not know me personally, Let me shed a little bit of background light on the subject:

I have five beautiful, adorable, amazing children: Gifts from God. They are the light of my life and I could not/would not want to imagine life without them. 

I had Amy first, then we decided after her birth to give control of my womb and our fertility to the Lord for His divine control and planning. Joshua followed Amy eleven months to the day after she was born. Then, Matthew came almost 13 months after Joshua, Joanna came along about 13 months after Matthew, and baby Sarah was born a year and a half after Joanna. 

I did not breastfeed my first three. It's not that I couldn't, because I could. I mean, sure, the doctors handed me every excuse on a silver platter to make me feel better about my choice, and I did choose to buy them, but in the end and deep down I knew, it was my choice alone. I had bought into the standard social norms. I did not educate myself on breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding. I felt "weird" about having a baby suckling at my breast because I too had been under the deception that a woman's breasts were solely a sexual organ. My whole family, both sides, was or appeared to be pro-formula and truthfully, no one ever even brought up the words "breast feeding" until my OB asked which one that I was going to be doing. Even the hospital that I gave birth to my first daughter at was completely unsupportive. They put me alone in a room with my first newborn daughter and told me to feed her if I wanted to breastfeed. I tried. Believe me, I did. I spent 20 minutes in this solitary room with a screaming baby who refused to latch on, and I was crying, clueless as to what to do to help her. The nurses were right outside, and to this day I am confident that they COULD hear everything, but they never even gave my direction a second glance, and this was in the NICU nonetheless!

Then, by the time Matthew had joined our precious family and had all of his mental and physical development issues that stemmed from an adverse reaction to his routine vaccinations at 6 months of age, I began to do some research. Research that no one else would give me.

I stuck to it and nursed my fourth, Miss Joanna. 

Then I continued with Sarah, because my experience had done nothing but harden my resolve that a baby ought to be nursed at his or her mother's breast from birth to weaning when possible. And believe me, I am an advocate for MAKING it possible.

Now, I am here to say that I regret not nursing my first three SO much. I have definitely noticed a difference in relationship/bond/the way I feel, act, and respond to my children; the breastfed and bottle fed, as well as how they respond to me. 

PLEASE don't get me wrong. I LOVE my children with my WHOLE heart, ALL of them, and I would DIE for them, but there is a difference. 

The unspoken bond between a nursing mother and her child rings true, but oddly enough, I cannot find words to explain it. It is something so beautiful it defies explanation and logic, surpassing all technicalities and labels that science could possibly throw at it. It simply cannot be explained. 

I am pressed for time, but I will elaborate at a later date for sure.

A simple starter, Joanna for example:

..............................

It should be simple, yet the vocabulary evades me...

I still can't explain it, but by an illustration of my heart. 

Imagine a single, invisible, unbroken, seamless tether from my heart to hers. When she falls, I feel it. When she cries, my heart twists. She can look at me and I can feel exactly what she is thinking in the bowels of my soul. Silent yet clearly heard communication between mother and child. 

It's there. 

It's true.

I have a higher level of "mother's intuition" with her, and with Sarah.

She's my baby! And I can FEEL it! 

In no way do I love my other children any less. Please do not leave this post with that notion. I am simply trying to state in the best words that I can find in this limited earthly language that I can simply FEEL it more. 

In my heart, in my soul.

And it pains me daily, to think that I sacrificed such a special and irreplaceable bond with Amy, Joshua, and Matthew. What will they think of me later? Will they think that I just didn't love them enough? Do I or will I ever start treating them differently because of it?

Sadly, I know that I treat them differently. I am more responsive to Joanna as opposed to her older siblings. I am softer towards her (and so is her daddy, if there could be a possible connection there... but that's another blog) and more inclined to hear her. I regret this SOOO much!! It makes me want to hate myself, but I know that I can't because that will just lead me down a path that I DO NOT want to travel again.

I am trying to patch this broken bond as well as I can with my older ones. 

It is difficult, though. VERY difficult. 

I know it will take time, just like it will take time for me to finally and completely forgive myself, and I have never been naturally inclined to patience, but I am in this for the long haul.

There is nothing in this world or in this heart of mine that God can't touch! 

Perhaps another reason why God came through physical birth is to display that significant love-bond. I equate this bond as something akin to how God loves us, and feels for us, and exhibits compassion towards us no matter what He may catch us red-handed doing. 

I thank God for Grace.

And a second chance for this imperfect mother.