A Woman's Quest for Wisdom

"Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars:

She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table.

She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city,

Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

Come, eat of my bread, and drink of the wine which I have mingled.

Forsake the foolish, and live; and go in the way of understanding...

...A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.

For she sitteth at the door of her house, on a seat in the high places of the city,

To call passengers who go right on their ways:

Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: and as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him,

Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant.

But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell."

Proverbs 9:1-6, 13-18

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

 

As women after God's own heart, it is natural that we would seek after becoming a woman of wisdom. We scour Proverbs and we meditate on the Psalms of the Lord. We seek and we seek and we seek until it seems like we've overturned every stone and still there is an ocean to go.

What if, what if there was a simple answer to the age old question that all good Christian women ask themselves at one point or another: How do I become a woman of wisdom?

We see in the above verses a comparison between wisdom and foolishness; the wise woman and the foolish woman.

Wisdom builds her house.

Wisdom works in her home, she keeps her home (Titus 2:5).

She kills her beast for the meal, she has mingled her wine to drink, and she has furnished her table.

A wise woman builds her home.

On the other hand is the foolish woman, that clamorous woman.

She sits in her house, no mention of work. She has no fruit to show (Proverbs 31:31).  

No table to offer, and no slaughtered beast or wine has she, but stolen waters only. The only thing she has to offer isn't even hers to offer!

The common thread between the two women is that they both call out to the simple, imploring them to come in and dine.

The wise woman calls out in her wisdom, and the foolish woman calls out in her simplicity, acting as if wise.

The difference is the fruit.

The wise woman builds her home, the foolish woman sits in her home and does nothing, thereby tearing it down with her own hands.

What if it is that simple?

Sisters, if we desire to be wise, let us seek after wisdom, and we will find her. We will find her building her home, preparing the table, and speaking the law of kindness.

So shall we, by the grace of the Lord.

If we want to be wise, dear sister, we must build our homes.

When It All Comes Back to Bite You... PART 4

(Continued from HERE)

All's Well on the Front.... or is it?
Storm Clouds Looming on the Homefront

I was leading a double life.

Family, friends, strangers, they all had this crazy idea that my life was perfect.

Ready for a shocker? It wasn't. Not by a long shot.

What looked like perfect peace and happiness on the outside was simply an exterior masking of the internal turmoil bubbling behind closed doors. I was struggling. Struggling with finding my place, struggling with pleasing everyone, struggling with doing everything for everyone all the time, and I was taking it out on those around me.

No one listened to me, no one was aware of my plight. The more I yelled the worse it got. I yelled for the kids to be quiet, to be good, to behave, and it only made things louder. I yelled at them to listen to me, and they only tuned me out more. I cried and complained to my ever patient husband, and he couldn't offer me any solution. I pinned my problems on everyone around me.

Then one day, reality slapped me in the face like a wet fish.

It wasn't them, it was ME!

I wanted recognition. I wanted glory for my works. I wanted nice things and a peaceful home without having to nurture it to maturation. I wanted respect without having to earn it. I was desperately clinging to a quickly crumbling status quo and wondering why on earth wasn't it working??

"For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted."
~Luke 14:11

My life is a living testimony to that. I was attempting to exalt myself, and the Lord sure did bring me down to my appropriate level. I am nothing. I don't deserve recognition. I serve a mighty God, who deserves ALL the recognition and praise, not me. Why would someone praise the waiter for the work of the chef?

So, I humbled myself. I took my place at the Master's feet, and I begun to work with my hands in a way that would bring glory to Christ, not myself. In that process, I have indeed been exalted, even undeservingly so. The Lord has given a peace that radiates from the inside out that the storms of life cannot sweep away.

****

Speaking of the storms of life....

I have been married to my husband for going on eight years now. We have been through some tough times.

We've been through physical (worldly) battles of finances, broken promises, and all the growing up that comes with age and babies. We've also been through innumerable spiritual battles that practically left our marriage in shambles. Personally, I've been through three very harsh rounds of PPD, I've battled with PTSD and other anxiety disorders, and everything that goes along with the territory. My childhood was a wreck, I grew up in an abusive and drug-filled home, and the only reason I excelled in school was because I would have much rather been there instead of home. By the age of twelve, I had tried to commit suicide at least three times, and was unsuccessful. I was a slave in my own home while my abusive step-mom slept and ate all day. My own father was abusive to my stepmother and overlooked everything that she did to me. I spent my childhood years crying out to God in agony asking Him, if He loved me, why did He take my mother from me? Why was He putting me through this torment? Why couldn't He make them put me in foster care, or at least kill me? Why was He ignoring me??

What does this have to do with anything?

To point out that God is good, REGARDLESS of circumstances!

When the Lord called me to Him, I was broken. I was a pit of despair that He had somehow, for some reason, seen fit to preserve for His purposes. I was hanging in the jaws of hell. I had one hand in the devil's mouth and another in the belly of the world. I was SO close to giving in, and SO close to giving up. Then God's mercy and grace rained down.

I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior in the summer of 2001 at Word of Life Bible Camp in Florida, thanks from the heart to an anonymous donation on my behalf from a saint at Cornerstone Baptist Church in Lawrenceville, GA to pay my way.

The Lord preserved me when I was lost, then found me and pulled me out of the pit of my own works. I was forever changed.

What does this have to do with anything? You may ask again....

Because, it's by the storms that I grew. If it had been all sunshine and roses growing up, I would not be who I am today. Romans 8:28 is my life-verse. I am living proof!

I look at my blessings now. I look at my precious children, I look at my wonderful husband, and everything else and I realize the cold hard truth: If God had granted my petitions when I was a child, I would not have what I have now. I would never have met my husband, and I wouldn't have my children. I might not have even accepted Christ.

I had to come to a place where I extended forgiveness to those whom I harbored so much bitterness and resentment against for so long. I had to forgive them for their trespasses against me before healing could begin.

It was a process, but it is nearing completion. It wasn't until after my stepmother died four years ago that I could finally forgive her. It wasn't until last year that I could finally forgive my dad and his side of the family for never telling me that I was adopted by him, that he wasn't my blood-father. I had to humble myself and see things from another perspective before real change in myself could start to take over.

You never know what storms are there to make you grow.

I had to learn the hard way to welcome the storms, because they are for your good when they are from God's hand, nothing can touch us in Him without His permission first, and He will never allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear.

This is one of my new favorite songs:
(turn off music player)

Sometimes the storms are only there to wash away the dirt and filth, so that a new bud can appear stronger than the one before.

This is my word to any readers that might happen by here:

Kill the roots of bitterness before they start to grow. They will affect your entire view of the Lord, and of the world. Even your blessings will seem tainted if you allow the bitterness to rule your heart and life. Kill them early, because this is one fruit that you want no part of, and once it flowers, it is very hard to abolish.

Storm clouds do not mean destruction, it's simply a fresh new beginning. Some leaves are turned by the gentle breeze, and others are turned by the fierce growls and electricity of the southern summer storms. Welcome both. In your most desperate hour of need, look to the Lord and know that He is holding you in His everlasting arms. He will never abandon you. He cares for you. He holds every tear. I must have cried an ocean in my youth, but to know now that He still holds each and everyone close, it strikes me in the heart. All those times I thought I was alone in my suffering, He was right there beside me, doubtless crying out with me as my High Priest as He did in the garden that day when He sweated blood on my account. To know that the Lord suffered along with me in my trials and distress, to know that His heart ached along with mine all those dark nights when I tried to end my walk on this earth because "Maybe then they will love me," He was right there, carrying me.

This world is not my home. Is it yours? The Lord is calling all to repentance and salvation. He is standing at the door and knocking.... will you answer His call?

No matter the mess you are in, the Lord can lift you out of it and give you a new life, a new heart, and a home in Heaven with Him.

Thank you Lord, for preserving me, saving me, and blessing me beyond my wildest imagination. Help me to never lose sight of that. Your grace keeps me going, even when I feel like giving up.

****

Instead of fearing the storm clouds, I need to train my children to dance in the rain! For, no matter what storms God may allow to be sent our way, we can rest in the promise that:

"...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
~Romans 8:28

When It All Comes Back to Bite You... PART 3

(Continued from HERE)

The Plan of Attack!

There were so many areas that needed my immediate attention that it was a bit overwhelming at first. I had never been taught how to manage a home, much less children, so I had to come up with a plan and just wing it. I was able to sort things into generalized categories of areas needing attention:

1 - The children
2 - The homefront
3 - My own heart

The first one is the simplest, so I will begin with that one.

First, I started to look at my children from a whole new perspective.

"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."
~Psalm 127

The fruit of my womb, my children, God gives as a reward. God sees His heritage in godly children, which are given as gifts! Of course I knew this Psalm well already, but it was like I was looking at it for the first time. Whether a woman has one child or 20+ children, the Truth remains consistent, they are all gifts from God, His heritage!

I had two precious gifts once, both from my husband. Both were pendants given to me on special occasions. I treasured them, and I loved them. I even took them off when I didn't want to risk losing them. Then, they were stolen, and I was sad. Out of all the items in our truck when it was stolen, almost our entire household, these two small items were what sprang forth in my mind as the greatest loss. They were precious to me. They had sentiment behind them, and even if they weren't the most expensive metal or the most precious jewels, they were precious to me because my husband had given them to me...

How much more should we treasure our children, then? 

God's most precious gift to us apart from the gift of His only begotten Son, who died on the cross for our sins and rose again and ascended to Heaven to be our High Priest (Hebrews 4:14), is the gift of children. Oh, how much more should I treasure my children! What if God gave me a precious jewel, and I lost it? how horrible would I feel? My children are my jewels, and I do not want to lose them to this world! 

My sweet children, how I love their smiles, their wit, and their silly laughter!

What if, what if in a fit of anger or frustration, I squelched one of these little lamps for Jesus?

These hearts that are so enthusiastic for God right now, what if I turned them away from Him by my actions?

What if they were to one day look at me and say, "If that is Christianity, then I want nothing to do with it!"

And, worse, what if I got to Heaven and stood before the Bema Seat of Christ and had to account for my actions? What if my Lord asked me why I had lost one or more of the precious gifts that He had entrusted to my care? I would have no excuses, not one....

My precious children, how many times had I offended you when I should have received you with joy?

"And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!"
~Matthew 18: 3-7

My sweet babies, how long had you been calling for me and my mind been elsewhere? How long had I been so focused on the outside that I had forgotten that it is the inside that makes the person, that immortal soul, and forgotten to tend it as well? Had I come to the place where it would be better for me to be have a millstone hung around my neck and drowned in the sea because of my hot-headedness and selfishness?
I thank the Lord daily for grace, because I'd be lost without it.


Plan of attack, phase one: Tend to the hearts of my children as my Great Shepherd tends to mine, through His Word.


I must teach my children's hearts to plead the same as David did in Psalm 42:

"As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God."

I must teach them to desire God, and to do that, I must desire God, and desire to serve Him by the way that I raise up and treasure His heritage.

*
To Be Continued
Next: The Homefront

When It All Comes Back to Bite You... PART 2

(Continued from PART 1)

Sometimes...

Just sometimes...

Sometimes when things appear to be at their most dismal, pitiful, and distraught state...

That's when you unexpectedly stumble across the most fragrant blooms of the season.

Sometimes, even when something looks to be dead and unable to produce any good.....

You find it a few weeks later, suffering itself to bloom...

Against all odds, amidst uncertainty, doubt, and even impossibility.....

Even among the thorns, the delicate rose blooms.

Even with the scrounging of the ants, the steadfast bud of the peony still opens...

Even in the midst of a life fraught with despair and pain, even ignorance or self inflicted, God can still do a work in me.

THAT is what I came to realize that day.

That no, I cannot do it all. There is NO WAY that I can raise these children and take care of this house. There is NO WAY I can do this, sacrifice SO much for little to no recognition or thanks. No way at all.

But Christ can.

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."
Galatians 2:20

It is no longer I that live, but rather CHRIST in me. I am dead, but Christ lives in me.

I was lowly, but a worm on the earth. I was chief among sinners, until Jesus saved my soul and dwelt within me. I was born, but had not yet lived, until the day of my rebirth into the bosom of Christ. The Creator and Savior of the world dwells within me, and it is no longer ME that my heavenly Father sees, but rather Christ, His only begotten Son, in me. It's not MY works He sees, but rather the finished work of the Cross that covers me.

Grace.

Grace is what I came to realize that day.

The strength of Christ, rather than my own fallible, feeble, human "strength."

The faithfulness of God.

"Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)"
Hebrews 10:23

God is faithful, and it is because of HIS faithfulness that I can hold fast to my faith.

Mercy saved me from a hell that I deserved, but it was Grace that seated me "in heavenly places in Christ Jesus:" (Ephesians 2:6)

And it is God's faithfulness that keeps me there.

Praise the LORD for that.

It's not me, but Christ.

It's not my works, but Christ's.

It's not my home, but Christ's.

It's not my hand, but Christ's.

And Christ is faithful.

"Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it."
1 Thessalonians 5:24

It's a promise by a faithful God.

HE will do it, not me.

As I begin to pick up the pieces, I am constantly reminded that I cannot fail, because Christ cannot fail, and it is HE that called me, and HE that worketh in me, eternally.

IN CHRIST is the new beginning, even when it seems to be the end.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
John 14:27

*

To be continued.....
"Forming the Plan of Attack"

When It All Comes Back to Bite You... PART 1

You know that sudden moment that hits you like a runaway freight car? That screeching moment when you finally start realizing that you are doing more damage than good, and you need to change, and quick?

Well, that moment happened to me about a year ago. Okay, maybe two years ago now.... time flies.

I had been winging this whole parenting thing. Having neither parents to model myself after, nor a good steady source of encouragement to apply myself to, I really had no clue what I was doing. Sure, I knew what the Bible said, I just didn't know how to apply it in a "real life" perspective, and the concept of grace was still a bit foreign to me too.

I knew many ladies who were wonderful mothers. They seemed to have it all together, they had the right balance of love, liberty, and discipline, and their kids seemed to be growing into very well mannered adults. I also wrongfully envied these ladies because they had it all together. Experience had taught them much, much more than I knew. I desired to put myself under the tutelage of these women, but I just wasn't quite sure how to approach it, and no one would ever come to me and say, "Hey, you know, maybe you should try doing this instead of what you are doing...."

I was beyond my wit's end, many times, just trying to figure things out. My husband is the puzzle solver, not me. I always hated puzzles growing up, they were so confusing and time consuming, although I did love a good mystery novel..... but I digress.... back to the freight train....

It hit me one day, head on. Here I was (thanks to the world wide web and modern technology) surrounded by women, all sorts of women! Those with good qualities, those with not-so-good qualities, and those with a healthy mix of godliness and grace to go along with it all. Oh, how many hours had I spent praying that God would send me someone, someone to take me under their wing and be tough on me, and tell me how to do it right! A prayer that, to this day, remains unanswered in the way that I was originally looking for it to be answered. But so goes the things of our mighty and glorious God.

I realized, as I took the brunt of this freight car impact in the very core of my being, that putting myself under someone did not have to be done to their knowledge. I had a lot to glean from those whom God had seen fit to surround me with, and even if I longed for a "real life" friendship and fellowship with like-minded ladies, well, that just wasn't going to happen in this season of my life just yet.

I had to change, and do it myself, by the strength and the grace of my Lord and risen Savior.

But where to begin??

Like the aftermath of a hurricane, the damage seemed already too widespread and too much.... how could I ever fix the mess that I had worked so hard at making??? Much more than that.... how could I change just like that? God wasn't calling me to a gradual change, He was calling me to cold turkey. Lord help me!

I uncrumpled myself from the floor, wiped my face, and stood to survey my surroundings. The beautiful little people around me, the eyes that loved me no matter the mistakes I had made, or the ones I am sure to make in the future. The home entrusted to me by God and my husband that lay in shambles.... I took a deep breath and said to myself.....

"Here goes nothing.....or possibly... everything...."

~To be continued ~

Too Busy to Weep

"Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?"

Psalm 56:8

Tears.

How precious they must be to God.

This same omnipotent God who washes our sins away and remembers them no more in Christ, remembers always our tears. More than that, He keeps them in a bottle. This same God who sees His redeemed as if they had never sinned, keeps our tears as precious to Him. 

How precious, and how powerful must our tears be.

Selfless tears.

Sacrificial tears.

Tears of grief,

Of love,

And of sorrow.

Those late night/early morning tears that all mothers know by experience, where we just don't know if we can go on anymore. When we just don't know how much more we can give, how much more we can keep on giving. How much could possibly be left to give? Does it really even matter, anyway?

Society tells us to grow up, shake it off, and get over it. Weeping is seen as a weakness, a detrimental and childish character flaw that needs to be gotten rid of, but what does the Word of God say about weeping?

"He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:6

Weeping is not only precious to God, seeing as how He keeps them in His bottle, but it is beneficial to the Kingdom of God. 

Perhaps those precious seeds that are sown are watered by the weeping of the saints and prayer, leading to the joyous harvest?

Even Jesus wept, openly and unashamedly wept, both in times of gladness and in times of sorrow.

Are we so above the flesh that we should not weep, even as our Lord and Savior did during His incarnation on this earth? Is weeping so shameful that we should hide it, keep it behind closed doors? What danger does this mentality pose for us as Christians?

I just don't have time to weep, after all. 

I've got kids to take care of, educate, and feed. I've got a home to tend to and keep, and I have a husband to serve and edify. I just don't have time for weeping.

Sometimes, okay, most times, I find myself holding back my tears.
"Not now," I say. "Now just isn't the time for tears."
I wait until things have built up in me to the point of a breach and then it all comes flooding out, rushing over anyone within a twelve mile radius.

Then, when I come to God, not only must I bring to Him my despair, but now also my sins of lashing out with my emotions, which brings more despair and grief upon me, along with the guilt.

No, I don't have time to weep, but I also don't have time to make up for the scars left by my emotional actions.

Our tears, dear sisters in Christ, are precious to the Lord.
Even my brothers in Christ, your tears are precious to Him too!

We have to make sure that they are righteous though. Don't waste something as precious to the Lord as our tears on something as foolish as selfishness or envy.

Not only are our tears precious to the Lord, but they are powerful when coupled with humble prayer! Look at the Lord's response to king Hezekiah's tears in the Book of Isaiah:

"In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came unto him, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Set thine house in order : for thou shalt die , and not live. Then Hezekiah turned his face toward the wall, and prayed unto the LORD, And said, Remember now, O LORD, I beseech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore. Then came the word of the LORD to Isaiah, saying, Go, and say to Hezekiah, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will add unto thy days fifteen years."
Isaiah 38:1-5

Tears that changed his life, Hezekiah cried. The prayer of his life, he prayed, and the Lord granted him a gracious fifteen years instead of taking his life as the prophet had warned him of.

How powerful were those tears.

How much potential do our tears hold for the glory of the Lord?

What if you had the power to change a life with your tears and with prayer, but you held back out of pride?

What if you had the power to change things... but you squandered that opportunity in vain and fleeting pursuits?

Make time to weep, make time for prayer, for they are both precious tools given for the glory of God's Kingdom and His Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

All for His glory alone.

Reflection vs Introspection

Parenting by reflection. 

That's what I have come to realize that I have been doing for the past seven years. I look into the mirror that the world has provided me; that dingy, filthy mirror of degraded youth and worthlessness, and I see myself as I was in high school.

Small

Inadequate

Powerless

Too young to know much about anything

Frustrated

Emotionally turbulent 

Essentially, immature

I see myself as unequipped and unprepared to do the tasks set before me. I find myself, lately, wondering why that is....

For too long society has told America's youth that they are suppose to be "kids" for too long. 

Do not work until you have to, don't even help out around the house unless you get paid. When you do have to get a job, do the bare minimum and no more, especially not without demanding a pay raise. If you lose your job, no big deal, just get unemployment. Don't settle for minimum wage, and for heaven's sake, don't put yourself so low as to get a labor job like picking crops or working in the slaughtering business! Be lazy, well into your twenties, and it's okay. It's all part of growing up, right? Go do stupid things, then call them mistakes and run away from the consequences. Get married and willingly have children, "Oh my goodness what, are you stupid?? It will never last!" Yet, sleep around and have a child out of wedlock, "Oh, it's okay, you messed up, happens to everyone. Let us help you raise the child while you get your life situated." And definitely don't claim a religion!

"Growing up" is not expected to happen until mid to late twenties in America, and that is becoming the social norm. There is no work ethic, and no respect of younger people, even the younger people who try to do things the right way, because of this new societal norm. 

And we wonder why we have so many immigrants taking the lower paying and less desirable jobs? They have not been conditioned to think so highly of themselves as to overlook a paying job. They would (most) would rather work for a little money than sit around doing nothing for even slightly more money.

ADOLESCENCE IS A MYTH that our country is biting hook, line, and sinker.

Not only does this cause our work ethic and moral to decline, but it causes crime and "activism" (pride, selfishness) to rise, and it increases the demand for government assistance via other people's tax dollars. It has become acceptable to demand that other people (govt assistance) pay for our wants/desires/"needs" whereas even fifty years ago, it would have been seen as utterly disgraceful.

What is the impact of this on the youth who are trying so desperately to rise above this stigma?

• We are grouped in with the "norm" even when we do not conform to that norm. 
• People judge us based solely on our youth without getting to know our person or our ethics. Job applications are even declined or overlooked simply because of the age of the applicant.
• Any effort to put forth a good image is shot down as being a "smart aleck" and we are written off as not knowing anything simply because of our age. "Oh no she didn't, that 26 year old mother of six did NOT just give that 30 year old first time mom advice!! Who does she think she is???"
• Hospitals think that you need more counseling or instruction, as a young parent. 
• People feel sorry for you. That is probably the most impacting, because rather than build us up in our efforts, people just feel sorry for us and send their condolences at how hard our life must be (in their eyes) because they have lost sight of what "growing up" should be like. 

 Yes, the curse of the social stigma of age, of youth. 

What does all of this have to do with parenting?

Well, for me, it is two-fold. 

First, I begin to see myself as they portray to me I am at a young age. Then it grows with me as I do, and I start to believe it, even as young as 13, that I don't know anything, and that I have no abilities in the "grown-up" areas of "expertise. I start to believe the lies of society. My mirror becomes clouded and dirty with the filth and opinions of this world. 

Second, I carry that clouded and misguided image of myself to parenting. People tell me that I am too young to be a mom, much less a mom to six children under seven. People tell me that I don't know what I am doing. People tell me that I'll never last as a low-(but making it work without government assistance!!)income stay at home, homeschooling mom of six, and that I will have a mental breakdown. The government tells me that I don't know how to raise my children, and that I can't possibly afford to raise them on one income without their help. 

I start to believe it. I have been conditioned to believe it. I am a product of society after all, thanks mostly to the years in government schools with a lack of parental guidance in certain essential areas. Maybe I am too young. Maybe I am clueless. Maybe we won't be able to make it on one income. Maybe (on a bad day) I will have a mental breakdown. What was I thinking??

What was I thinking?

I think that perhaps in many many young people (14-25) the self-assurant and confident-in-their-own-abilities part starts to come out, but it is too quickly squashed by society and the people around them who also subscribe to the societal norms of our generation. I think that many young people feel this way all too often, they become aware that they DO know some things, and they ARE adept at other things, and that they CAN make things work, but are shut down and then start to believe that maybe they were wrong. Adolescence is a time for mistakes after all, right?

We need to realize that this societal norm is WRONG!

...

Yes, I said wrong.

We need to change this norm. 

We need to turn the tide in a culture that would go so far to prevent children from having responsibility that they would enact laws to prevent children under 16-18 from even stocking or picking produce on their own family farms! 

But, until then, the youth of America needs to take a stand, and stand in the Lord. 

God did not create adolescence, it is an invention of self-serving man. God created us to work, and to be enabled to do anything He calls us to do.

Respect your parents, honor their rules and their home, no doubt, but rest in the assurance that you are able to think for yourself.

As for me..... I need to do that as well. 

I need to wipe that mirror off and scrub it down with some newspaper and vinegar. I need to see myself as able, equipped, and called. I need to start consistently viewing myself through the Lord's eyes and not the rose colored shades of society. I need to stop biting the bait of selfishness and self-indulgence. I'm not entitled to anything other than to be left alone. The government and the past generations owe me squat. I need to work for what I have, and I AM able to do so. 

I need to stop seeing myself as an inadequate child, because that is simply a lie. 

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that a mirror does not show the inside. A mirror cannot show your inner beauty, your inner strength, or your wisdom or knowledge, no matter how clean.

I need to rest in what the mirror can't see, rather than what is showcases, for it is not I, but Christ, and I am well equipped in Him.

Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Hebrews 13:20-21