Reflection vs Introspection

Parenting by reflection. 

That's what I have come to realize that I have been doing for the past seven years. I look into the mirror that the world has provided me; that dingy, filthy mirror of degraded youth and worthlessness, and I see myself as I was in high school.

Small

Inadequate

Powerless

Too young to know much about anything

Frustrated

Emotionally turbulent 

Essentially, immature

I see myself as unequipped and unprepared to do the tasks set before me. I find myself, lately, wondering why that is....

For too long society has told America's youth that they are suppose to be "kids" for too long. 

Do not work until you have to, don't even help out around the house unless you get paid. When you do have to get a job, do the bare minimum and no more, especially not without demanding a pay raise. If you lose your job, no big deal, just get unemployment. Don't settle for minimum wage, and for heaven's sake, don't put yourself so low as to get a labor job like picking crops or working in the slaughtering business! Be lazy, well into your twenties, and it's okay. It's all part of growing up, right? Go do stupid things, then call them mistakes and run away from the consequences. Get married and willingly have children, "Oh my goodness what, are you stupid?? It will never last!" Yet, sleep around and have a child out of wedlock, "Oh, it's okay, you messed up, happens to everyone. Let us help you raise the child while you get your life situated." And definitely don't claim a religion!

"Growing up" is not expected to happen until mid to late twenties in America, and that is becoming the social norm. There is no work ethic, and no respect of younger people, even the younger people who try to do things the right way, because of this new societal norm. 

And we wonder why we have so many immigrants taking the lower paying and less desirable jobs? They have not been conditioned to think so highly of themselves as to overlook a paying job. They would (most) would rather work for a little money than sit around doing nothing for even slightly more money.

ADOLESCENCE IS A MYTH that our country is biting hook, line, and sinker.

Not only does this cause our work ethic and moral to decline, but it causes crime and "activism" (pride, selfishness) to rise, and it increases the demand for government assistance via other people's tax dollars. It has become acceptable to demand that other people (govt assistance) pay for our wants/desires/"needs" whereas even fifty years ago, it would have been seen as utterly disgraceful.

What is the impact of this on the youth who are trying so desperately to rise above this stigma?

• We are grouped in with the "norm" even when we do not conform to that norm. 
• People judge us based solely on our youth without getting to know our person or our ethics. Job applications are even declined or overlooked simply because of the age of the applicant.
• Any effort to put forth a good image is shot down as being a "smart aleck" and we are written off as not knowing anything simply because of our age. "Oh no she didn't, that 26 year old mother of six did NOT just give that 30 year old first time mom advice!! Who does she think she is???"
• Hospitals think that you need more counseling or instruction, as a young parent. 
• People feel sorry for you. That is probably the most impacting, because rather than build us up in our efforts, people just feel sorry for us and send their condolences at how hard our life must be (in their eyes) because they have lost sight of what "growing up" should be like. 

 Yes, the curse of the social stigma of age, of youth. 

What does all of this have to do with parenting?

Well, for me, it is two-fold. 

First, I begin to see myself as they portray to me I am at a young age. Then it grows with me as I do, and I start to believe it, even as young as 13, that I don't know anything, and that I have no abilities in the "grown-up" areas of "expertise. I start to believe the lies of society. My mirror becomes clouded and dirty with the filth and opinions of this world. 

Second, I carry that clouded and misguided image of myself to parenting. People tell me that I am too young to be a mom, much less a mom to six children under seven. People tell me that I don't know what I am doing. People tell me that I'll never last as a low-(but making it work without government assistance!!)income stay at home, homeschooling mom of six, and that I will have a mental breakdown. The government tells me that I don't know how to raise my children, and that I can't possibly afford to raise them on one income without their help. 

I start to believe it. I have been conditioned to believe it. I am a product of society after all, thanks mostly to the years in government schools with a lack of parental guidance in certain essential areas. Maybe I am too young. Maybe I am clueless. Maybe we won't be able to make it on one income. Maybe (on a bad day) I will have a mental breakdown. What was I thinking??

What was I thinking?

I think that perhaps in many many young people (14-25) the self-assurant and confident-in-their-own-abilities part starts to come out, but it is too quickly squashed by society and the people around them who also subscribe to the societal norms of our generation. I think that many young people feel this way all too often, they become aware that they DO know some things, and they ARE adept at other things, and that they CAN make things work, but are shut down and then start to believe that maybe they were wrong. Adolescence is a time for mistakes after all, right?

We need to realize that this societal norm is WRONG!

...

Yes, I said wrong.

We need to change this norm. 

We need to turn the tide in a culture that would go so far to prevent children from having responsibility that they would enact laws to prevent children under 16-18 from even stocking or picking produce on their own family farms! 

But, until then, the youth of America needs to take a stand, and stand in the Lord. 

God did not create adolescence, it is an invention of self-serving man. God created us to work, and to be enabled to do anything He calls us to do.

Respect your parents, honor their rules and their home, no doubt, but rest in the assurance that you are able to think for yourself.

As for me..... I need to do that as well. 

I need to wipe that mirror off and scrub it down with some newspaper and vinegar. I need to see myself as able, equipped, and called. I need to start consistently viewing myself through the Lord's eyes and not the rose colored shades of society. I need to stop biting the bait of selfishness and self-indulgence. I'm not entitled to anything other than to be left alone. The government and the past generations owe me squat. I need to work for what I have, and I AM able to do so. 

I need to stop seeing myself as an inadequate child, because that is simply a lie. 

If there is one thing I have learned, it is that a mirror does not show the inside. A mirror cannot show your inner beauty, your inner strength, or your wisdom or knowledge, no matter how clean.

I need to rest in what the mirror can't see, rather than what is showcases, for it is not I, but Christ, and I am well equipped in Him.

Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, Make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is wellpleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ; to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Hebrews 13:20-21