Mommy Monday: The Grandmother I Want To Be

I'm sure we all have a picture in our minds of the type of grandmother that we want to be. You know, the type of woman that we want to be when our children are all grown and gone, the type of grandmother that we want our grandchildren to remember us as.

Think back to childhood and try to remember a grandmother or grandmother type person who made an impact on you in a good way. What do you remember about her?

For me, one such person is my dad's mother. I called her Grannie. She is in the photo below surrounded by five of her six sons. She went to be with the Lord when I was about ten years old, but she made a HUGE impact on me while she was here with us. She was the first to ever tell me about Jesus, and that planted a seed for a work greater than her lifetime would allow her to see. She had the spirit of an unbroken and unbridled filly, and if she had an opinion, you can bet you'd hear it, but with me she was always very patient and nurturing. She let me dress up in her Sunday best and run around her home acting silly. We turned on the old country station and I'd dance like a ballerina just because it brought a smile to her face. She was my very first hero.

Another person is my mother's mom. I never got a chance to know my mother, but my grandma made up for that. When I was fourteen she accepted legal guardianship of me and brought me into her home to finish raising me, and if it hadn't have been for her, my life would have been a mess after high school. She put me through about ten years of growing up all condensed into four short ones, and we both got through in one piece. She has always been there for me, but she has also always been sure to let me walk on my own, and even let me fail, because she truly believes that experience is the best teacher. For that, I am forever grateful. She may be only five foot three, but she has the character to make up for any height she may be missing! This is a photo of her just this past year holding her sixth great grandchild, my Daniel:

Now, I come from a lineage of strong women. I come from a life where the woman rules the home and is actively Queen over her domain, even though I only got to live in the home of one of these queens for four years. I have their stories and triumphs to reflect back on for encouragement. From this foundation, I also start forming an image of the type of grandmother that I desire to be. I want to be strong, but femininely so, and built upon the Rock of Christ. I want to be gentle, approachable, and yes, I want to spoil my grandchildren. I want to be the one that they know they can come to when they feel that they just can't go to mom and dad.

As far as the mental image that I have of me as a grandmother, I am reminded of some photos of children's book illustrator Tasha Tudor:

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So beautiful and feminine, even as she was in the later years of her life. Crafty, and so obviously queen in her home as she canned, preserved, cooked, homesteaded, and kept her home. Yet strong enough to raise her children and even carry water up to the house on her shoulders before they got running water. Even just on the surface, and inspiration. I can imagine the kind of impact she had on her grandchildren as she walked through her gardens with them and taught them of the different types of flowers and their care requirements before sharing a cup of tea with them.

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Now, why do we speak of grandmothers when our little ones are still so little? I myself have a good fifteen years at least before any grandchildren come along.

It is because this woman that we hope to be to our grandchildren directly relates to the type of mother that we will be today to our children.

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If I have learned anything from life, one thing is this: People don't just change, and old habits are hard to break.

If we want to be that gentle, loving, industrious, approachable, and spiritually beautiful grandmother, it needs to start now. With our children. I think sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the here and now, and dragged down under the circumstances that we lose sight of the future. I may have six children under seven at the age of twenty six, but babies do grow up, and children do get older. My bad days, my hectic days, will soon be forgotten, and every little thing isn't worth the heartache that I give myself and my children when I lose my temper. My training starts now for the type of woman I want to be when my children fly the nest.

If I am going to be that picture of a grandmother that so envelopes my very core of being, then I am first going to have to be that kind of mother.

I am first going to have to love my children, and make sure that they know it day in and day out. I am going to have to make sure that they never doubt what a blessing they are to me.

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What kind of grandmother do YOU want to be?