It's hard, sometimes, not to feel intimidated in church. Sometimes, we see the Lord working through others in ways that we wish we could and feel like what we have to give just isn't enough.
It's never enough.
I can't sing, I can't play an instrument, and I find it hard to be open and warm at times and overcome my shyness, although I wish I COULD do and be all of those things. I wish I could play piano, I have always wanted to, or guitar, or even the violin or harp. Those are my four favorite instruments. I wish I could sing, I would love to glorify the Lord through song. I wish I could just be a open, friendly, and inviting person who's second nature is good ol' Southern Hospitality, but that is something that I am working on.
But I can't.
And it doesn't seem like I will be able to, at least not right now, and perhaps not ever.
All these things I yearn for in my heart, and they are beyond my grasp.
What am I left with then, that I can offer to my Lord?
How then, can I serve my church family?
"Well, Lord," I said, "I can clean, and I can cook, but that's it."
It's so trivial, so minute, so.... so..... little. ANYONE could clean or cook. There are so many who are present and MORE experienced, able, and willing, I would just be in the way.
"REMEMBER THE WIDOW???" The Lord gently whispers, gently prods.
Yes, but...
Remember the widow?
Well, yes.... but...
Remember the widow?
The tears begin to fall as I look out the window of the truck, my precious family completely oblivious to my battle.
Yes, Lord.
All that she had was enough for me.
The tears, those pesky little tears just won't stop.
"But, it's not enough. It's so little, so small, it's not enough. I want to do MORE for You, Lord..."
And you will, one day, but for now, all that you have is enough for me. I don't want your works, I want YOU. Then, then I will give you MY works.
But....
The peace of the Lord envelopes my heart.
If you do it for ME child, it's not small, and if it is your least, when done for Me, I will make it MY greatest. Remember? It's not about what you can do FOR me, it is what I can do THROUGH you.
Thank you Lord.
Thank you so much for this. Some days I feel like that it is not enough what I do. But then He reminds me that if I give all of me to him no matter how small it is it will always be enough.
ReplyDeleteThen I am reminded to do all my duties as if I were doing them for the Lord. Even ifit is cleaning the toilet clean it like He is coming over and may need it.
Thank you and God bless
Jen
<3 Amen sister.
ReplyDeleteI just saw this today. Know that even those women who can do those things you wish you could do, feel this way. It's one of the many ways Satan attacks us as women specifically. Reminds me, though, of that little Christmas poem:
ReplyDelete"What can I give Him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man, I would do my part.
What can I give Him? Give Him my heart."
That's all He requires, our hearts, our love, our service such as it is. It's we who get it into our heads that we have to do certain things to be worthy. I know how you feel, I've been there myself. God loves you and so do I :)