"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
I sit here and read those words, those precious and inspiring words, over and over again. I pray, I lean on God, I wait.
Oh, it is so hard to wait, and even MORE difficult not to worry. Worry is like second nature sometimes, and we all know how the Spirit and the nature seem to be constantly at war.
I must let go of all that I am, I must let go so that God can be even more. Like that Casting Crowns' song, I must cease to be so that God can be more magnified.
"He must increase, but I [must] decrease." John 3:30
I worry. I repent, then I worry some more. I worry for my baby, I worry about me, that something might be wrong with me if I am unable to carry this baby, and I worry for my dad because he took the miscarriage news so very hard last time. I really don't want to have to face him in that light again. I just don't think I could handle it. I worry for my husband.
I just NEED to KNOW if my baby is alive and well within me, or if this is pre miscarriage material.
Boy, I wish I was throwing up, green at the gills or SOMETHING to ease my troubled mind.
I hope this ultrasound place gives me a call back tomorrow saying that they will do an ultrasound for me this week, just so I can know what I need to do.
God, You've got it all in Your very capable hands, I am trusting You, as always, for the timing and well being of all of my children. Lord, I know that You never promised an easy road, but You did promise to be with my until the end. <3
"...and, lo, I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen." Matthew 28:20b
Praying and thinking of you my sweet dear friend.
ReplyDeleteI will say a prayer for you. I've lost four babies, two consecutive losses in under a year. I had two chemical miscarriages(early losses), one missed miscarriage and a still born at 20 weeks just this January. I know the pain, grief, and fear that goes along with a loss of an unborn baby. Keep us posted. Did they say what was wrong with the baby?
ReplyDeleteI am only 6 weeks along, going in for an ultrasound on the 3rd more than likely, so we will know more then. They don't really know anything except that some bleeding in pregnancy is common. Just have to wait and see. I am having pretty bad morning sickness now though, so that is a good sign. :-)
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