Motherhood is Not Hard

Motherhood is not hard.

It's physically taxing, it's exhausting, it's demanding, but it's not complicated. It's not hard.

Learning to let go of expectations, now, that is hard. I mean think about it. Almost every source of frustration in and toward motherhood is because things don't go the way we think they should. Motherhood is simple. Our flesh complicates it. Society complicates it. Expectations of how things should be complicate it. 

Society and expectation says your child should be well behaved all the time, quiet in public, never rebellious, obedient at all times, compliant, and genius to boot. Your home should always be a model of a museum with a place for everything and everything in its place at all times.  So called "experts" say that your baby should crawl at 6 months, walk at 12 months, be speaking in sentences by 18 months, potty trained by 24 months, and if you have somehow failed at any of these points (as if anyone can force a child to use the toilet if they aren't ready...) then you are obviously a failure as a mom.

Society is wrong. It's time to lower our expectations. Go into each day expecting only the grace of God, and you will never be disappointed, because we serve a living God who is forever faithful to His promises. Children will make messes, they will rebel, and they will have ear-splitting tantrums in the middle of a crowded grocery store. Children develop at different paces, and that's okay! More children fall outside the median line on the percentile chart than within their perceived "normal," so that should tell you something about the true definition of normal.

The world complicates things,  but motherhood, the heart of motherhood, is oh so simple.

Mercy & Grace

Colossians 1:11

Matthew Henry's note on Colossians 1:11.

The Ground is Level at the Cross

 We know that man judges by outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart (1 Sam 16:7, John 7:24). So why are we so quick to trust our own judgment in reference to other people? 

It  IS  the Christian's job to judge by fruit those within the church, but it is Christ's job to judge those without (1 Cor 5), so why then do we chastise those without, while the pride of ourselves, those within the Church, runs unbridled and unchecked?

When a brother falls, we are to restore him to fellowship, in all meekness, and we are to bear each other's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Gal 6). The Law of Christ being not so great a mystery, and neither such a complicated one either... but that we should believe on the name of the Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. (1 John 3:21-23) No brother was ever restored with a whip and a broom handle, therefore pay heed to your slicing tongue. 

We, as ambassadors of Christ and instruments of Grace, are called to be many things in this temporal world. Among these things are light and salt. 

Light: The Lord is light, and in Him is no darkness at all (1 John 1). We ought to regard and foster no darkness in our own walk, for how can a light corrupted by darkness be a light at all? Bitter water and sweet cannot mingle, for in the instance that it does, even the sweet water is corrupted and becomes bitter itself (James 3). So ought we to have regard for our own struggles, temptations, and shortcomings, and keep them ever present before us, lest we fall into bitterness and temptation, corrupting the very Light that Christ has called us to bear.

Salt makes a man thirsty. We are called to live in a way as to whet the appetite of sinners and saints alike, and cause them to thirst after the living God. In speech, we are called to let our speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that we may know how we ought to answer every man. There are two parts to the way we are called to present ourselves in speech. Grace, and salt. Our speech should work to make others' thirsty for the Lord. In regards to Colossians 4:6, Matthew Henry so aptly puts it: "Let your discourse be as becomes Christians - savory, discreet, seasonable. Thought it be not always of grace, it must be always with grace. It must be in a Christian manner, seasoned with salt. Grace is the salt which seasons our discourse, makes it savory, and keeps it from corrupting." An accurate word spoken without grace is just as unprofitable to the Kingdom as a witness never spoken at all. Grace, the very heartbeat of the Gospel, ought to season our entire beings and cover us, just as the waters of baptism covered our bodies on the day of our public testimony. Every act, every word, and every thought ought to be seeped in Grace, saturated in Grace. THIS is our biggest testimony, as Christians. The grace in which we walk. Because, it is by grace alone that we are enabled to come to the level ground at the cross. How foolish is it of us to think that, as partakers of grace, we are somehow more pleasing to God. Our works are but filthy rags, but in Grace, UNMERITED FAVOR, Christ is glorified. Should we sin that grace may abound? God forbid. BUT, let us be cautioned, lest we think so highly of ourselves that we are comfortable and tempted to forsake grace for pride. This of which we are all inclined.

Here's the thing about Grace, about the unmerited favor of God:

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

Here's the thing about labels, and critical spirits, and the prideful manner that leads us to so harshly and roughly ostracize and scald those around us, both within and without the Church, but often times mostly those without:

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

There are but two labels in this world that really matter, when it comes down to the line: Lost, and Redeemed. 

Those of us who are Redeemed, let us be careful not to let the unmerited favor that has been so graciously bestowed upon us feed our ego, and let us daily remember where we came from. Every single one of us has past sins that would cripple us in humiliation if they were to be brought to light, so let us treat sinners with humility, care, and compassion. Let us treat those Lost, those without the Church, in a manner that glorifies God and exemplifies His abundant grace, even when they aren't around to hear us, lest the Word of God be blasphemed. Let us be careful not to elevate our filthy rags, those works that we take so much pride in, over the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. They say that Every Saint has a Past, and Every Sinner has a Future, and that rings more and more true as life goes on. God specializes in fixing broken things. He delights in using broken, marred, distorted, and charred vessels. He glories in the reshaping and remaking of dishonorable vessels, and fitting them unto honor. 

We ought to treat others' sins as we would desire for others to treat ours. Not giving excuse, but acting discreetly, and compassionately, and charitably. Charity is: "in a general sense, love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good." We know that we can speak with the power and truth of God, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and have faith enough to move mountains, and relinquish our worldly goods in their entirety to feed the poor, and even deliver ourselves up to be martyred, but if we have not charity, all of our works are meaningless, and it all amounts to nothingness. In 1 Peter 4 we are called to have fervent charity among ourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Charity, or that love and goodwill toward men, does not make excuse for sin, but it does cover them. It covers sins. It covers shortcomings and misgivings and ignorance. It does not write them on a sheet and run them up the flagpole to air, it covers them. 

The sinner is inclined to be of softer heart toward those who would humbly cover their sins, rather than toward those who would flagrantly and with gross disregard take a broom handle to their ignorant backs in front of the community of witnesses in order to feed their own pride and arrogance. Therefore, Charity glorifies God in ways that fire and brimstone cannot. Fire and Brimstone is God's job. He is the only righteous judge of those without the Church. Charity does not displace fire and brimstone, but even as God is longsuffering and is staying His hand of judgment ‘til the appointed time, so should we ought to stay our own hand and tongue. It is BECAUSE of fire and brimstone that we love so fervently. It is BECAUSE of fire and brimstone that we weep over the souls of the Lost. Brother, Sister, if you have failed to weep and pray for the lost and backslidden, then don't you dare raise your voice in judgment against them! Ever mindful of the power and the glory and the righteousness of God, we go forth in love and COVER sins. Brethren, we are called to Grace. Making no excuse for sin, but rather covering sin with charity as the precious Blood of Christ covers us even now. 

The Ground is Level at the Cross.

"Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." 1 Cor 13:4-7

Poll: What do you think is the biggest hinderance to your work as a mother?

What do you think is the biggest hinderance to your work as a mother?

Guilt/Being afraid of being selfish

Loneliness/Lack of support

Feeling unappreciated

Poll Maker

Grace is the backbone of every woman still standing

"Grace is the backbone of every woman still standing."
~ Ann Voskamp

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/09/the-real-truth-about-really-having-it-all/

A Tribute To My Father

(Make sure to turn off music in the sidebar)

On Service and Fellowship - When Two Good Things Clash

Passage from Luke 13:10-17

Christ has saved us according to His perfect grace, and appointed us unto service. Service unto others, both within the church and without. This service, God calls charity, God calls love. Serving others shows Christ's love through us, and in that He works tremendous works beyond our capabilities. In serving others, we are serving God.

In our passage in Luke 13, we see Christ healing a woman bound with an infirmity on the Sabbath. The ruler of the synagogue was indignant, Scripture states, as he said that people have six other days to come to be healed, that no healing should take place on the Sabbath, for that service he equated to work. Our Lord righteously rebuked him in comparing his healing to their tending to livestock on the Sabbath day, loosing them from their captivity and leading them to drink.

Life Application:

Now, we know that we have been released from the bondage of the old testament law of Moses. We know it was but a shadow of the substance found in Christ and while Moses was good, Christ is better. As Matthew Henry stated so eloquently, who would worship a shadow when the substance has come? We are no longer bound to the Sabbath observation, for we know that Christ is the Sabbath Rest for the people of God (born again Christians) and even those who observed the physical Sabbath rest of the old testament never were able to enter into the True Sabbath that the physical law was only a shadow of. Our Sunday church fellowship is not a replacement of the Sabbath, or an attempt to change the Sabbath, it is as new as the New Covenant itself. The early church met on the first day of the week, the Apostles as well, for this was the day of the week that Christ was found risen, and the day of the week that the Holy Spirit came down at Pentecost to institute and finalize the New Covenant.

Yet, often much confusion surrounds the subject. Church fellowship is good, absolutely, and necessary, as are tithes, offerings, and much more. Howbeit, while presence and participation in corporate worship is much needed, we are still called unto service and love, both to those within and those without. What good does presence do if the willingness to have and act upon a heart for service to our fellow men as unto God is absent? How can one so boldly say "I'm here, Lord! Here to serve you!" if they are also so saltless as to say that mere presence is of the utmost and highest degree of spirituality?

Jesus rebuked the ruler of the synagogue with a stinging and righteous "Thou hypocrite." God forbid that we show ourselves as hypocrites as well. I stand to reason that in many churches today, if a man ran inside during a Sunday service shouting "My home is on fire, please help me!" that, unfortunately, most pastors and members would be more than a bit irritated at the interruption, and would perhaps call 911 for the man so that they can get back to their fellowship and worship rather than answer a call to help and to serve another human being as unto the Lord. Then there are those church food pantries, or "ministries," that are only open on certain days, and when a family in need comes to them on another day they they are turned away with a coarse "Come back on the day that our ministry is open," to stew and fret over, while shedding tears and crying out to God to please help them feed their children since the church is so unwilling! Or, if a family stranded half a continent away from home comes for help, they are told to find someone else to help because they are not church members and not even worthy of an appeal and love offering.

Thou hypocrite!

Ironically, in my experience, in those cases it is often those who have the least that give the most, as unto the Lord.

When will the people of God realize that service is the highest act of worship that man can attain here on this earth? That we are called to shun highmindedness and to look to the things of others as in Philippians 2? The mind of Christ Jesus in us. Would Jesus interrupt a church service to serve someone in need? I would venture to answer with a resounding "YES" given that He would interrupt a synagogue service, which He was teaching, to heal a woman, knowing that the ruler would detest His action. If someone calls you on a Sunday and says, "Hey, I'm about 50 miles from home and my tire is flat and I don't have the money for a tow," would you, if it was within your abilities, go and serve him, help him, though it meant missing Sunday morning service? Or would you tell him to wait, or find someone else because it would be 'un-Christian' for you to miss church?

The mark of God's People is love and in that, service. We are told that whatsoever we do for the least of our fellow men, so do we unto Christ. We ought not to be so outwardly focused that we miss the service of the heart that is manifested by Christ through hands of grace and mercy. The tugging of grace always leads to selfless service and sacrifice, without a second glance. Grace, and the service of grace, always leads to gratitude and praise that glorifies God.

Should, then, grace stand as a scapegoat to assembly or giving? God forbid. However, it is the purpose of Christ, the purpose of Grace, to serve more than in word alone, but in deed as well, along with truth, and if the tongue boasts of service but the hands are willingly withdrawn according to the calendar or clock, then it is nothing but lip service and is an affront to Christ, and an affront to the grace that has loosed our shackles and called us out of the miry pit in that we were found. And to cut down and shame those who would so serve, it is even worse. Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

Again, is this an excuse to neglect the other good things of God? Absolutely not! Christ calls us to church attendance and participation just as well as He does to giving. However, do not let legalism quench the Spirit when we are called to physically serve others first when it is within our capabilities. For the congregation or for the lost, broken, and downtrodden: it is one and the same when done for the Lord. It's absolutely a good thing to be at church meetings whenever we are able, however, I think it's about time that we remember what 'church service' really means.

~*~

I am thankful for my church home. 

One of the Hardest Parts of Parenting

Parenting is difficult, there's no doubt about it. The demands of parenting are unlike any other. Teaching, guiding, correcting, playing referee, and simply just being there and being available; it can get very tough at times. However, at least for me, there is one part that it more difficult than others.

GUILT

 I fail miserably every single day. I lose patience. I get irritated and aggravated. Honestly, I hate repeating myself (and with six children you KNOW that's bound to happen many times over in a day!). I lose my temper. I raise my voice sometimes. Other times I just want to send them all to bed and curl up in a corner and cry. There is no job more emotionally or mentally draining than parenting. 

However, amazingly, my children love me. Their artwork proudly displays this..... little notes to brighten my day.... they hang everywhere as a reminder to me of how much they love me.

The best? Silly children, don't they know? Don't they see? All the times I fail them, all the times they receive what is not rightfully theirs in my frustration and fatigue... don't they see how terrible I really am? Can't they see that I don't deserve their love, their admiration, their appreciation? I am wretched, I am a miserable example of the emotional flesh all rolled into a big hot ball of self-pity and guilt. Are they are so naive that they cannot see my failings, my falterings, my dirty, grimy, filthy self? 

I lose my temper at having to repeat myself for the thirteenth time to an older child who "knows better," and here inside myself I chide, berate, and cut down myself for failing yet again today when suddenly this face that was so recently in tears comes before me smiling with a colorful token.....

"I love you Mommy"

You love me?

You love ME? 

But WHY?? 

I just want to go hide in a corner somewhere, shrivel up, and sob. Why would they love me? Haven't I hurt them enough? Haven't I failed them enough? Are they going to wake up one day with the realization of the stinking mess that I truly am and then hate me finally like I deserve? How can they possibly love ME? 

I don't deserve their love. Not by a long shot. 

Then comes that still, small voice like a gentle autumn breeze.....

"All the times you've failed Me, I still love you with a love that endures forever. Even while you cursed me in your sin, I loved you still. I loved you so much in your stinking, rotten flesh that I sent my only Son, my perfect and holy Son to die a miserable death, to become sin, for your sake, that I might be with you in eternity one day if you only believe and love me back.... don't you remember My sacrifice for YOU?"

Yes, more tears come as this realization hits me hard, hits me deep in the soul where only the Spirit can touch. I am so unworthy. 

I. AM. UNWORTHY. 

This time, though, the echo does not spawn out of self-pity, but rather out of self-realization. I am unworthy. 

I am unworthy of love.

I am unworthy of sacrifice.

I am unworthy of praise, of adoration, of esteem....

I am unworthy of forgiveness. 

I am broken.

I am flawed.

I am at war; a product of flesh reborn in the Spirit.

BUT GOD

Praise God, it doesn't end there! 

"BUT GOD commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

But God. Words so simple, yet so life changing.

χάρις

(charis)

Strong's G5485:

1) grace

a) that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech

2) good will, loving-kindness, favour

a) of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues

3) what is due to grace

a) the spiritual condition of one governed by the power of divine grace

b) the token or proof of grace, benefit

1) a gift of grace

2) benefit, bounty

4) thanks, (for benefits, services, favours), recompense, reward

Authorized Version (KJV) Translation Count — Total: 156

AV — grace 130, favour 6, thanks 4, thank 4, thank + 2192 3, pleasure 2, misc 7

But God.... but Grace....

 "But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." (1 Corinthians 15:10)

 "O give thanks unto the LORD; for He is good: for His mercy endureth for ever." (Psalm 136:1)

"But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him...." (Psalm 103:17a)

I've always said that my children have taught me more about the nature of God than any sermon or theology class combined. Here lies yet another instance. 

A raw, open, very real instance.

In myself, I am unworthy in every sense of the word. I deserve rejection, condemnation, scorn. I deserve hell-fire for what I am of myself. 

But God.... thank God for grace, that charis grace, that mercy undeserved and grace beyond all measure. He loved me so much, even in my stinking sin, that He sent His Son Christ Jesus to die for me, to take the sin-penalty and the penalty of the Law upon Himself, to become that price for me, that He might purchase me with His redeeming blood. 

I cannot boast in myself, not at all. I am nothing. I am less than the dirt and worms that I trod upon. But in CHRIST, I find everything that I want to be. 

I find peace. 

I find joy. 

I find forgiveness, 

healing,

strength,

and the courage to stand up, dust myself off, and try one more time. 

I can't be all things to all people, but I know who can. 

I can't be perfect all the time, but I know where to go to find the grace that I need to carry on even after I fail again. 

And again. 

And again.

And yet again.

Love letters from God remind me that even though I fail, and He knows it, He loves me anyway with a love beyond measure and beyond understanding. 

On my knees, I look up, and through the tears, His grace shines like a message in the sky...

Of course my children know that I fail. They see me fall, they see me stumble, they witness my searing tears when I've just simply had enough of me and this troublesome flesh that is my temporary home. I'm human, and they know it, and yet choose to look past it and love me anyway. Praise the Lord for their child-like faith in me. If, in all of my failings, I can find the strength to point them to Christ alone as my source, my provision, my comfort, and my safe harbor, then I will think myself having accomplished much more than I could have ever hoped. 

I don't want my children to see me as perfect, because I'm most absolutely not. I don't want to be a fake mom. That's not what is best for them. What is best for them is real. Real trials. Real struggles. Real tears. Real prayers. Real "I'm sorry," and real reconciliation. I am real, and that means that I am really weak in and of myself, but our God is real, and His love and mercy is real, as is His promised help in times of need if we only ask, seek, knock. We weren't meant to bear this burden of world and flesh alone. He wants our dependence; our child-like faith, love, and complete and utter dependence.

Here I am, Lord. Ugly, unworthy, and unfit. In You, however, I know that I am beautiful. By Your grace alone.

Praise the Lord for Grace.