"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."
~Proverbs 31:10-31
Where, oh where, has the TIME gone?
As I pour over Proverbs 31 once again, I am struck newly by a pattern, not before percieved by my own heart. Let's take a look at some of the "key words" that scream at me from the pages of my King James Bible, begging my attention and study:
A virtuous woman, what of her?
1 - She does her husband good.
2 - She seeks wool and flax.
3 - She works willingly with her hands.
4 - She rises early and gives meat to her household.
5 - She considers a field.
6 - She buys said field.
7 - She plants said field and nurtures a vineyard.
8 - She girds herself with strength.
9 - She percieves that her merchandise is good.
10 - She works late.
11 - She makes garments for her household with her own hands.
12 - She stretches out her hand to the poor and needy.
13 - She makes fine linen and sells it.
14 - She speaks with wisdom.
15 - She looks well to the ways of her household.
16 - She eats not the bread of idleness.
Wow!
That's a big order to fill, if I do say so myself, especially in today's time.
Now, when I read this, I am reminded of something else, another woman of character and virtue that I read about as a child. Her name being Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Her stories are rich with true tales of what it was like to live on the frontiers in the times before modern convinences. Before electricity, before cars, before washing machines, dishwashers, and the like. Before a minimum wage was set and before the government stepped in and decided that they knew better.
Back in times where women ran a house, raised multiple children, and went to bed at night ready to get up and do it all again simply because that's how it was done. There was no other way.
Here's the kicker, they managed to get it ALL done.
Every day.
(winces while stones are hurled)
But seriously! Did they not?
The menfolk worked, and the good woman and wife worked at home. Raised the kids, taught them, kept the house in order, kept it CLEAN (cause they had no other choice, being without Lysol and surrounded by wilderness and all), and still managed to read their BIbles every night, go to church on Sundays, and even manage a barn raising or quilting party every once in a while.
The women folk cared for the animals and a portion of the fields (if not all of them) while their husbands worked 12-15 hour days earning a meager income. They milked the cows, fed and collected eggs from the chickens, slopped the hogs, churned the butter, hooped the cheese, canned the goods, salt cured the meat, managed three meals a day, sometimes more if there was company, on an old wood burning stove that takes HOURS to cook a decent meal sometimes, while toting a baby on each hip! They really did! They did it because that's what they had to do, and they took joy in it, because it was their job. They realized how precious every potato was, knowing that if the weather had been any more tempermental, they would have gone hungry over the winter.
What HAPPENED??
Here it is, 2011 now, and we are SWAMPED with modern convinences. Things that were invented to make the homemaker's life easier: The dishwasher, the washing machine, the dryer, electricity, natural gas appliances, central heat and air for a majority, to name a few! We can go to the grocery store and in an hour get food to last us a month! We can go to Walmart and buy clothing for everyone. I am willing to bet that 90% of young women today know how to practice birth control but have never even desired to TOUCH a sewing machine (which are all new and jazzed up, all you have to do is guide the fabric and push a pedal down...), so goes the lost art of craftsmanship.
We have all of these things, yet each day I am bombarded with countless women complaining about how they don't have enough time to do this or do that, or bemoaning the fact that they have to do the same thing over and over, etc.
Looking at the past, please, someone tell me, where has the time gone?
Have the days gotten drastically shorter??
No, I don't think so...
Have they?
But seriously, what's up ladies?
I rarely ask a question that I don't already know the answer to, but you aren't gonna like my answer.
I'll warn you now, this will step on some toes. I promise you that it square dances vigorously on mine as I type this. This will cause me much hurt in my heart, this will cause me to lose friends, and this will likely cause me to ask myself why I even try.
Want to hear the answer?
Why are women so strapped for time nowadays, not getting their houses in order each day, complaining that they just don't have a chance to get it all done?
...
Selfishness.
Self-indulgence.
Self-centeredness.
All of this bred into a self-righteous laziness.
I NEED this "me time" or "venting time" or "social time" on the phone/internet or with friends.
I NEED time to kick my feet up and relax.
I NEED this bubble bath time, or this reading time.
And our husbands have been duped into BELIEVING this feminist LIE!
Honey, the ONLY thing that you and I NEED in this life is JESUS!
Facebook comes last.
Myspace (if anyone uses that anymore) comes last.
CafeMom comes last.
All social networking sites come last.
The phone gossip/chat session with that friend that you haven't talked to in ages comes last.
BLOGGING even comes last.
TV/Netflix comes last.
Family game time comes last.
EVERYTHING else comes last.
AFTER the chores have been done.
After the dinner has been put away and after the dishes are clean (and dear, if your husband goes to work to provide your household money to be able to enjoy that house that you are living in, do not expect HIM to do the dishes).
After laundry is done and after the kids are asleep or otherwise occupied to the extent that they do not need mommy at the moment.
No children ever grew up loathing their parents for getting chores done before everyone sat down to play video games as a family! In fact, they helped out so that game time would come faster!
As women, as Christian women and homemakers, we are endowed with a great and high calling. It is not your house that you clean if you claim the name of Christ, it is God's house. Would you go to bed and leave the house unkempt if it was God's house? Would you let God come home to a pigsty? Honestly.
The great women of the past, from Eve to the recent women of the Revolutionary Era, knew a thing or two about keeping a home and doing a husband good all the days of their lives. They had no choice.
The devil loves excuses. He will shovel them into your mind and mouth given the chance, and laugh in utter bliss while doing it.
A battle for your home is raging, and YOU must be the one to make the wise decisions.
There is a price that comes with convenince, and it is called the temptation to indulge in slothfulness.
Am I saying that every home must be spotless with everything in place all the time? No! Absolutely not! It is impossible. I am saying, however, that there is a big difference between a disorder due to a current activity and a mess that no one has felt obliged to clean up in over a week. There is a difference between toys in the floor because children are playing now, and toys that are shoved into a corner, or under beds, or anywhere else because people are too busy with idle things to pick them up and put them away properly.
We are not called to keep cover models for Good Housekeeping Magazine, but we are called to be homemakers, homekeepers, and to be busy at home.
If God places so much emphasis on that, they why are we tempted to brush housework off as a necessary evil?
If God thought so highly of the Proverb's 31 woman, why do we so quickly dismiss her as an impossible goal?
No, we may not make our own clothing anymore as she did, or plant vineyards, but there is something that we CAN take away from her story: She was at home, and she was busy.
She worked
WILLINGLY with her hands.
She had a job to do, and she did it. She didn't bemoan it or dread it. She just did it and rejoiced in it.
Now, honestly, I want you to think about this next question for a bit, and chew on it for a while.
You ready for this?
If you were given the fruit of YOUR hands as a reward (31:31), what would YOU have? What kind of reward would that be for you?
Philippians 2:14 instructs us to "Do all things without murmurings and disputings"
1 Corinthians says "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
Colossians 3:17 says also "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."
We are suppose to do what we need to do, and do it cheefully, without complaint, as if we were doing it for God directly.
This includes changing that fifteenth poopy diaper of the day, cleaning the dishes once again, cleaning up that spill that a child carelessly induced, vacuuming, straightening, cleaning, scrubbing, washing, drying, laundering, wiping, bathing little ones, making, turning down, sweeping, mopping, everything that is included within the parameters of homemaking and housekeeping. Yes, even the umpteen millionth time in a row. Do it, and do it with a smile!
I am by no means perfect, not by a long shot. I don't have it all together, and I am still growing in Christ just like all of us are. This is a daily conscious decision for me to undertake, just as it is or will be for everyone who may happen across this blog post. That doesn't mean that I can't strive to be holy, as He is holy (1 Peter 1:16) though. That doesn't give me free lisence to buy excuses and use them to my selfish advantage, as tempting as it may be at times. God is still God, and His commands and instruction still stand, no matter how many times I fail them. I delight in the Law of the Lord (Psalm 119).
All I am asking, is that we reevaluate our hearts, our minds, and ourselves at every angle. If they did it back in "the day", we can most certainly manage now with all of these modern contraptions. It's just a matter of heart and time management. No more excuses, no more worldly hearts and attitudes of "it's good enough so that I can go have some 'off' time." I'm sure your husband will understand if your movie has to wait 30 minutes while you straighten up the house that he provides for, and God will delight in it!
Don't give Satan a foothold by buying into his excuses and mumerings of how things would be better if you just slacked off this once. Old habits are hard to break, so break them while they are young.
I had to discover all of this on my own, and I do not doubt that many will leave this with a hard and bitter heart and have to learn it on their own too. I've been in those shoes. Boy how I look back now and kick myself for not listening to the wise instructors who tried to teach me to be a TRUE manager of my home.
(... Grandma, if you ever get internet enough to read my blog, you have so much of a right to point your finger at me and say "See!!! I told ya so!!" Love you!!)
Where does YOUR time go, as a Christian woman called by God to be at home?
Can you chart it? Would you be willing to keep track of your time spent on each pursuit for a week, then tally up how much time is taken up by idle things (things not needed while other things needed sit unfinished)? You will be shocked, I can assure you. Ten minutes here, an hour here, or a half hour there doesn't seem like much, but it adds up.
If we are honest with ourselves, If we have time to sit and chat on social networking sites, or read (or write) blogs, we have time to get that laundry done that we have been complaining about not being able to get on top of. It might not be fun, and it might not satisfy that lazy, slothful, selfish side of us that feels entitled to a "break" every once in a while, or more as habits go the older they get, but it is what needs to be done, and it is what God expects from us, so we do it anyways, and with a heart of rejoicing and gladness to be able to serve the Lord.
How do you spend your time? And how could you spend it more wisely? No matter what the circumstances, each and every one of us can ALWAYS do better. Don't let the devil fool you. This life is imperfect, so we will never attain perfection, meaning that there is always room for improvement.
Let's strive to do that, for God, for our husbands, for our children, and for the home that God has blessed us with.
USE those modern contraptions, by all means, but use them with bold gladness that you don't have to scrub the hand-spun wash on an iron board and hang them to dry, even in the winter. Seek to keep your home in order, because if the surroundings are in order, the rest will follow. The same is also true of chaos and stress, so be careful which way you turn your sails. If your house is in chaos, your heart and mind will be stressed. In my experience, both in myself and observing others, stress comes not from having to clean house, but from outside sources that are given too much power over our lives, and from a heart that is discontent with the Lord.
And do all things for the glory of God, for He sees what no one else sees, and He will reward it.
Work so that if you were given the [material] fruit of your hands, it would be worth it.
And learn from the example of our great women in history, even if their names have been long forgotten, like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. Her name may not have been recorded but her deeds and legacy have earned her a place in the Book that will outlast all material things.
And note also that I am speaking to myself as much as, if not more than, any others. Remember, life is 70% how you take it, and 30% what you make it. You can either curse the one that caused you pain, even if unintentionally, or you can first go before God and ask why it hurts or offends so much.
NEVER put off til tomorrow what should be done today, because tomorrow never comes, it's always a day away. So goes the habit of procrastination.
It took me running a poorly managed household, then losing it all and having idle hands with nothing to manage, no matter how well or poorly, to learn this cold, hard Truth. It took my husband losing his TV and game system to the hands of a thief for me to learn exactly how
abundant time actually is without worldly distractions, managed wisely. It took all of this that has happened over the past two months to show me how they did it, and how they did it well; those women of yesteryear. My eyes have been opened, PRAISE THE LORD! and I know that it IS possible, if my heart is contented enough in God's Word and in my God-given role to let it be so. I pray that others might learn from MY mistakes so that their road can be a bit less harsh in the ways of learning. Still, I know others must learn for themselves, and I understand this extensively. Honestly, though, if I can make that conscious decision every day, with five children under six and while battling chronic fatigue from an iron deficiency and fibromyalgia flare ups, among other physical ailments, I have faith that you can too. By the power of Christ in us, whom in our weakness is made strong.
All for HIS glory, Christ Jesus.
